you didnt know i had herpes?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
