I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize