every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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