My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
