to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
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My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
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He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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