he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
