Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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