the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
