This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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