I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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