I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
