it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
