Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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