Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize