im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
