is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
