The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
