he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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