um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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