I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
