WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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