Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The air was thick with penises
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
