worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
