Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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