Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
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