Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
