We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
