Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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