Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
