You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
