dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
