Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
