It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
