He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
