I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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