Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
3 2 1 whiskey
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
