no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
