we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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