We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
