I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
