Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
