He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
