No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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