I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize