YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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