her vagine was all disorganized.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
