I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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