I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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