I puked a lego.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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