Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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