well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
