Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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