I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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