we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize