You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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