where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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