In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I think I have vodka in my lungs
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
