Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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