How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
