I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
