He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
And then he peed in my hair
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