Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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