There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
