I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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