A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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