haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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